Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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