saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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