dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
