you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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