Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
