Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
