I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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