Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
