What did we do last night that was yellow?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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