i just had sex bonerless
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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