just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
