Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
