My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
