bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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