so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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