Where is the hickey?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
