Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
