I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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