Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
