all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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