I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
