i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Everyone says I win the strip club
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
