I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
