Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
