I'm so fucking centered right now
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
it hurts more in the daytime
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
