I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
