This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
