I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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