i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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