Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
