Moan for me like Helen Keller
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
