We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
