Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize