yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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