Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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