Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
