he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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