so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
