absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
