"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
