If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think I died a long time ago.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
