and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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