quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
