They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
