is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
