you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
