3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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