So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize