its not stalking. its research.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
