Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
