I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My penis needs a shock collar
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
