If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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