"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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