just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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