There was a lot of him and a little penis
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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