So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
