i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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