dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
