thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
