is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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