If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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