Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
