their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
