The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
