Pappa wants mamma naked
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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