Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
