Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
pray to the hookup gods
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
